'''

The Unseen Battle: Why Founder Mental Health is Your Most Important Investment

I remember one of the darkest moments when I was building RemoteTeam. We were running out of money, a key engineer had just quit, and a major competitor had announced a new feature that was a direct shot at our core product. I felt like I was failing, and the weight of the world was on my shoulders. For a moment, I thought about giving up. It was a fleeting thought, but it scared me. That was the moment I realized that building a company isn

It’s not just about building a product; it’s about building yourself. And that’s a messy, painful, and often lonely process.

The Silent Epidemic in Startups

We don’t talk about it enough, but founder depression is rampant. I’ve seen it in the eyes of the founders I’ve invested in, and I’ve felt it myself. The constant pressure to succeed, the fear of failure, the endless hustle – it takes a toll. You're expected to be a superhero, a visionary, a leader who never shows weakness. But the truth is, we're all human. We all have our breaking points.

I’ve invested in over 200 companies, including some of the biggest names in tech like Anthropic and OpenAI. I’ve seen founders at the highest highs and the lowest lows. And I can tell you this: the most successful founders are not the ones who never struggle. They're the ones who learn how to navigate the struggle. They're the ones who build resilience.

The Myth of the 10x Founder

There's this myth in Silicon Valley of the 10x founder, the one who works 100-hour weeks, sleeps under their desk, and lives on ramen noodles. We glorify this image, but it's a dangerous one. It's a recipe for burnout, not success. I've seen more companies fail because of founder burnout than because of a bad product or a tough market.

I learned this the hard way at MovieLaLa. We were growing fast, and the pressure was immense. I was working around the clock, and I thought that was what it took to win. But I was wrong. I was burning out, and it was affecting my ability to lead the company. It wasn't until I started to prioritize my own well-being that things started to turn around. We eventually had a successful exit to Gfycat, but it was a close call.

Building Your Resilience Muscle

Resilience isn't something you're born with. It's a muscle you build over time. It's the ability to bounce back from setbacks, to learn from your failures, and to keep going when things get tough. Here are a few things that have helped me build my own resilience:

• Find your tribe. You can't do this alone. You need a support system of other founders, mentors, and friends who understand what you're going through. I have a small group of founder friends that I meet with regularly. We don’t just talk about business; we talk about life. We talk about the struggles, the fears, and the doubts. It's a safe space where we can be vulnerable and support each other.

• Get a coach. A good coach can be a game-changer. They can help you see your blind spots, challenge your assumptions, and hold you accountable. I’ve had a coach for years, and it’s been one of the best investments I’ve ever made in myself.

• Prioritize your health. This one is non-negotiable. You have to take care of your physical and mental health. That means getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly. I know it sounds simple, but it’s amazing how many founders neglect these basic things. I make it a point to get at least 7 hours of sleep a night, and I start every day with a workout. It’s my secret weapon.

• Celebrate the small wins. The journey of building a company is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be plenty of ups and downs along the way. It’s important to celebrate the small wins to keep your motivation high. When we hit a key milestone at RemoteTeam, we would always take the time to celebrate as a team. It helped us stay positive and focused on the long-term vision.

The ROI of Mental Health

Investing in your mental health isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. It's the best investment you can make in your company. A healthy founder is a better founder. You'll make better decisions, you'll be a better leader, and you'll be more likely to succeed in the long run. I’ve seen it time and time again. The founders who prioritize their well-being are the ones who build enduring companies.

So, if you're a founder who is struggling, know that you're not alone. Reach out for help. Talk to someone. And remember, taking care of yourself is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength. It's the most important thing you can do for yourself and for your company.

I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s not. But it’s worth it. Your company, your team, and your future self will thank you for it. Now go out there and build something great. But don't forget to build yourself along the way.

The Founder's Paradox: Strength and Vulnerability

Being a founder is a paradox. You have to be incredibly strong and resilient, but you also have to be vulnerable and open to feedback. You have to be a visionary who can see the future, but you also have to be a pragmatist who can execute on the day-to-day. It's a constant balancing act, and it can be exhausting.

One of the biggest challenges is the immense pressure to always have the answers. Everyone looks to you for guidance, and you feel like you can't show any weakness. But the truth is, you don't have all the answers. No one does. And that's okay. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and your team about what you don't know. It's in those moments of vulnerability that you build trust and create a culture of learning.

I remember a time at RemoteTeam when we were trying to decide on our pricing strategy. I had a strong opinion, but I wasn't 100% sure it was the right one. Instead of just pushing my idea through, I opened it up to the team. We had a healthy debate, and we ended up going with a different approach. It was a humbling experience, but it was also a powerful one. It showed me the importance of being open to other perspectives and not letting my ego get in the way.

Your Co-Founder Relationship is a Marriage

If you have a co-founder, that relationship is one of the most critical factors in your company's success. It's like a marriage, and you have to treat it as such. You need to have open and honest communication, you need to trust each other implicitly, and you need to be able to resolve conflicts in a healthy way.

I've been fortunate to have great co-founders in my career. But I've also seen co-founder relationships that have gone sour, and it's always a disaster for the company. The best advice I can give is to choose your co-founder wisely. Make sure you have complementary skills, but more importantly, make sure you have shared values. You're going to be spending a lot of time together, so you better make sure you actually like and respect each other.

And just like in a marriage, you have to work at it. You need to have regular check-ins, you need to be willing to compromise, and you need to be able to have tough conversations. It's not always easy, but it's essential for building a strong and lasting partnership.

The Long, Lonely Road

Building a company can be a long and lonely road. There will be times when you feel like you're the only one who understands the pressure and the stress. That's why it's so important to have a strong support system outside of your company. For me, that's my family and a close group of friends who have been with me since before I was a “successful” entrepreneur. They keep me grounded and remind me of what's truly important in life.

It's also important to have hobbies and interests outside of work. It's easy to let your company consume your entire life, but that's a recipe for burnout. You need to have other things that you're passionate about, whether it's sports, music, or art. For me, it's angel investing. It allows me to stay connected to the startup world, but it also gives me a different perspective and allows me to learn from other founders.

The Bottom Line

Being a founder is one of the most challenging and rewarding things you can do. But it's also one of the most mentally taxing. If you're not careful, it can take a serious toll on your mental health. That's why it's so important to be proactive about managing your stress, building your resilience, and prioritizing your well-being.

Don't buy into the myth of the superhero founder. We're all human, and we all have our limits. The most successful founders are not the ones who never struggle. They're the ones who know how to ask for help, who build strong support systems, and who understand that taking care of themselves is the most important investment they can make. So, as you build your company, don't forget to build yourself. Your future self will thank you for it.

Frequently Asked Questions

How has this view evolved over time?

My thinking on most topics has changed significantly over the years. Early in my career, I held many conventional views that experience proved wrong. I try to update my beliefs when the evidence changes.

What's the most common pushback you get on this?

People often push back by citing exceptions or edge cases. And they're usually right that exceptions exist. But building a strategy around exceptions rather than patterns is a losing game for most founders.

What experience informs this perspective?

This perspective comes from over a decade of building companies in Silicon Valley, two successful exits (RemoteTeam to Gusto, MovieLaLa to Gfycat), and investing in 200+ startups including Anthropic, OpenAI, and Scale AI. I write about what I've lived.

How can I apply this thinking to my own situation?

Start by identifying the core principle behind the opinion, not the specific example. Then ask yourself: does this principle apply to my context? If yes, test it in a small, low-risk way before going all in.