It’s a strange feeling to have everything you’ve ever wanted and still feel like you’re losing. I remember when we sold RemoteTeam to Gusto. It was a huge win. Champagne, congratulations, the whole nine yards. But a few weeks later, I was sitting in my home office, staring at a wall, and I felt… empty. It wasn’t the first time.
People see the headlines—the acquisitions, the funding rounds, the flashy numbers. They don’t see the 3 AM wake-up calls, the constant knot in your stomach, or the feeling that you’re personally responsible for the livelihoods of your entire team. They don’t see the burnout.
A recent study I saw said that 54% of founders experienced burnout in the last year. That’s more than half of us. And I believe it. I’ve been there. I’ve seen it in the eyes of the founders I mentor and the ones I’ve invested in. It’s the dark side of the Silicon Valley dream, the part we don’t like to talk about.
The Myth of the Hustle-and-Grind Hero
We’ve built this mythos around the founder who sleeps four hours a night, lives on coffee and ramen, and outworks everyone. We celebrate it. We call it “hustle.” And for a while, it works. The adrenaline, the excitement of building something from nothing—it’s a powerful drug.
I remember in the early days of MovieLaLa, we were a tiny team trying to take on giants. We worked insane hours. I was coding, fundraising, doing customer support, you name it. We were fueled by passion and a shared belief that we were going to change the world. And we did some amazing things. But that pace isn’t sustainable. It’s a recipe for a crash.
And it’s not just about feeling tired. Burnout is a deep, soul-crushing exhaustion. It’s when you lose your passion for the thing you once loved. It’s when you start to feel cynical and detached. It’s when you feel like you’re failing, even when you’re succeeding.
The Founder’s Paradox: You’re the Strongest and Weakest Link
As a founder, you are the heart and soul of your company. Your vision, your drive, your energy—it all sets the tone for everyone else. But that also means that your well-being is directly tied to the company’s well-being. If you’re not okay, the company’s not okay.
I’ve seen it happen. A founder I know, a brilliant guy with a world-changing idea, was running himself into the ground. He was so focused on hitting his metrics that he ignored his own health. He stopped sleeping, he was eating junk, and he was constantly stressed. His team saw it. They started to lose confidence. The company’s growth stalled. He eventually had to step down.
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but you have to realize that you are not invincible. You are a human being, and you have limits. Pushing yourself beyond those limits isn’t a sign of strength; it’s a sign of a-lack-of-awareness.
My Personal Battle with Burnout and What I’ve Learned
I’ve had to learn this the hard way. After we sold MovieLaLa, I was on top of the world. But I was also a wreck. I had gained weight, I wasn’t sleeping, and I was constantly on edge. I realized that I had been so focused on building the company that I had completely neglected myself.
That’s when I started to make some changes. I started to prioritize my health. I started working out again. I started eating better. I started meditating. And I started to set boundaries. I learned to say no. I learned to delegate. I learned that it’s okay to take a break.
Here are a few things that have helped me, and that I share with the founders I mentor:
- Schedule your downtime. Just like you schedule meetings, you need to schedule time for yourself. Put it on your calendar. Make it non-negotiable. Whether it’s going for a run, reading a book, or just sitting in silence, you need that time to recharge.
- Find your tribe. Being a founder can be a lonely journey. You need people you can talk to, people who understand what you’re going through. Find a group of other founders you can connect with. Share your struggles. Celebrate your wins. You don’t have to go through this alone.
- Get a coach or a therapist. There’s no shame in asking for help. A good coach or therapist can give you the tools you need to manage stress, deal with anxiety, and navigate the emotional rollercoaster of being a founder. I’ve worked with a coach for years, and it’s been one of the best investments I’ve ever made.
- Remember your “why.” When you’re in the trenches, it’s easy to lose sight of why you started this journey in the first place. Take some time to reconnect with your passion. Why did you start this company? What problem are you trying to solve? What impact do you want to have on the world? That’s the fuel that will keep you going when things get tough.
Building a Sustainable Company Starts with a Sustainable You
I’ve been fortunate to have two successful exits. I’ve invested in over 200 companies, including some of the biggest names in tech. And I can tell you this: the most successful founders are not the ones who work the hardest. They’re the ones who have learned how to build a sustainable company, and that starts with building a sustainable you.
It’s not about working less; it’s about working smarter. It’s about understanding that your well-being is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. It’s about building a company that supports your health and happiness, not one that destroys it.
So, if you’re a founder and you’re feeling overwhelmed, know that you’re not alone. More than half of us are right there with you. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can build a successful company without sacrificing yourself in the process. It’s time we started talking about this. It’s time we started to change the narrative. It’s time we started to build a new generation of founders who are not just successful, but also healthy and whole.
Frequently Asked Questions
How has this view evolved over time?
My thinking on most topics has changed significantly over the years. Early in my career, I held many conventional views that experience proved wrong. I try to update my beliefs when the evidence changes.
What experience informs this perspective?
This perspective comes from over a decade of building companies in Silicon Valley, two successful exits (RemoteTeam to Gusto, MovieLaLa to Gfycat), and investing in 200+ startups including Anthropic, OpenAI, and Scale AI. I write about what I've lived.
What's the most common pushback you get on this?
People often push back by citing exceptions or edge cases. And they're usually right that exceptions exist. But building a strategy around exceptions rather than patterns is a losing game for most founders.
How can I apply this thinking to my own situation?
Start by identifying the core principle behind the opinion, not the specific example. Then ask yourself: does this principle apply to my context? If yes, test it in a small, low-risk way before going all in.