I've seen things in the startup world. Things that would make you question the sanity of anyone who willingly signs up for this life. I’m talking about two successful exits, over 200 angel investments in companies like Anthropic and OpenAI, and a book on how to climb to the top 1%. I’m not saying this to brag. I’m saying this because I’ve earned my stripes. And I’m here to tell you that the single most overlooked and misunderstood part of the founder’s journey is mental health.
We love to glorify the hustle, don't we? The 100-hour workweeks, the sleeping under your desk, the ramen noodle diet. It’s all part of the myth of the heroic founder. But I’m here to tell you that it’s a load of crap. That lifestyle doesn't lead to success. It leads to burnout, broken relationships, and failed companies. I should know. I've been there.
I remember the early days of RemoteTeam. We were a tiny team with a massive vision. I was working around the clock, fueled by caffeine and a deep-seated fear of failure. I thought I was being a hero. I thought I was doing what it took to win. But in reality, I was just running myself into the ground. My health suffered, my relationships suffered, and my decision-making was shot. I was a mess.
It all came to a head during a board meeting. I was presenting our quarterly numbers, and I just…froze. My mind went completely blank. I couldn't remember the numbers, I couldn't remember my talking points, I couldn't even remember my own name for a second. It was a full-blown panic attack, right in the middle of the most important meeting of my life. That was my rock bottom. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
The Wake-Up Call
That panic attack was a brutal but necessary wake-up call. It forced me to confront the fact that I was not a machine. I was a human being, with limits. And I had been pushing myself far beyond those limits for far too long. I had to make a change. So, I did something that most founders would consider a cardinal sin: I took a break. I went on a two-week vacation and completely disconnected from work. No email, no Slack, no phone calls. Nothing.
It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I felt guilty, I felt anxious, and I felt like I was letting my team down. But it was also one of the most important things I've ever done. That time away gave me the space I needed to recharge, to reflect, and to re-evaluate my priorities. I came back to work with a new perspective, a new sense of purpose, and a new commitment to my own well-being.
The Myth of the 10x Founder
We have this obsession in Silicon Valley with the “10x engineer.” The mythical creature who can do the work of ten “normal” engineers. But what about the 10x founder? Is there such a thing? I don't think so. I think the idea of the 10x founder is a dangerous fantasy. It's a fantasy that encourages us to sacrifice our health, our relationships, and our sanity in the pursuit of some unattainable ideal.
I've met a lot of founders in my time. And I can tell you that the most successful ones are not the ones who work the hardest. They're the ones who work the smartest. They're the ones who understand that building a great company is a marathon, not a sprint. They're the ones who prioritize their own well-being, because they know that they are their company's most valuable asset.
My Rules for Founder Sanity
So, how do you build a great company without losing your mind? I don't have all the answers, but I do have a few rules that have helped me stay sane over the years.
1. Sleep is a Weapon
I used to think that sleep was for the weak. I used to brag about how little sleep I could function on. But I was an idiot. Sleep is not a luxury. It's a weapon. It's the single most effective thing you can do to improve your mood, your focus, and your decision-making. I aim for 8 hours of sleep a night. No exceptions. And I'm a better founder for it.
2. Move Your Body
You don't have to be a gym rat, but you do have to move your body. I try to get at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. It doesn't have to be intense. A brisk walk is fine. The important thing is to get your blood flowing and to clear your head. I find that I do my best thinking when I'm out for a run.
3. Unplug
I know, I know. You're a founder. You're always on. But you have to unplug. You have to have a life outside of work. For me, that means spending time with my family, reading books that have nothing to do with business, and getting out in nature. It's amazing what a little time away from the screen can do for your perspective.
4. Find Your Tribe
Being a founder can be a lonely journey. That's why it's so important to find your tribe. A group of people who get it. A group of people you can be real with. For me, that's a small group of fellow founders. We get together once a month to talk about the highs, the lows, and everything in between. It's my own personal therapy session.
5. It's Okay to Not Be Okay
This is the most important rule of all. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to be scared, to be stressed, and to feel like you're in over your head. We all feel that way sometimes. The important thing is to not be afraid to ask for help. Whether it's from a friend, a mentor, or a therapist. There's no shame in it. In fact, it's a sign of strength.
The Long Game
Building a company is a long game. It's a marathon of marathons. And the only way to win is to take care of yourself along the way. So, please, I'm begging you. Don't buy into the hype. Don't sacrifice your health for your company. It's not worth it. And in the end, it won't even work. The best thing you can do for your company is to be a healthy, happy, and sane founder.
Frequently Asked Questions
What's the most common pushback you get on this?
People often push back by citing exceptions or edge cases. And they're usually right that exceptions exist. But building a strategy around exceptions rather than patterns is a losing game for most founders.
Do all experts agree with this view?
No, and that's fine. The best ideas in business are often contrarian. I share my perspective based on my experience and data, but I encourage you to seek out opposing viewpoints and form your own conclusions.
How can I apply this thinking to my own situation?
Start by identifying the core principle behind the opinion, not the specific example. Then ask yourself: does this principle apply to my context? If yes, test it in a small, low-risk way before going all in.