I’ve sold two companies, one to Gusto and another to Gfycat. I’ve invested in over 200 startups, including some of the biggest names in AI like Anthropic, OpenAI, and Scale AI. On paper, my life looks like a highlight reel of Silicon Valley success. But the truth is, the journey has been a brutal one, paved with anxiety, loneliness, and moments where I questioned everything. This isn't a victory lap. This is the story of the unspoken cost of ambition, and why founder mental health is the most critical and overlooked aspect of building a successful company.
The Illusion of the Hustle
We glorify the hustle. The all-nighters, the ramen noodle diets, the relentless pursuit of growth at all costs. We wear burnout as a badge of honor. I did too. When I was building my first company, RemoteTeam, I thought sleeping 4 hours a night was a sign of my dedication. I remember one week where I didn’t leave the office for 3 days straight, fueled by caffeine and the fear of failure. We closed a huge deal that week, and everyone celebrated. But I just felt empty. The adrenaline rush was gone, replaced by a profound sense of exhaustion and isolation. I was surrounded by my team, but I had never felt more alone.
The Loneliness of Command
Being a founder is like being the captain of a ship in a storm. Everyone looks to you for answers, for direction, for a sense of calm. You have to project confidence, even when you’re terrified. You can’t show weakness. You can’t admit that you’re struggling. I learned this the hard way at MovieLaLa. We were running out of money, and I had to make the decision to lay off half the team. These were people I had hired, people who believed in me and my vision. Telling them they no longer had a job was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I had to be the strong one, the one who had it all together. But that night, I went home and broke down. The weight of that decision was crushing, and I had no one to share it with. My co-founder was just as stressed, and I didn't want to burden my family. So I carried it alone. This is the loneliness of command.
The Therapy Taboo
In Silicon Valley, we’re obsessed with optimization. We A/B test everything. We track our metrics, our KPIs, our OKRs. But when it comes to our own mental health, we’re flying blind. For a long time, I thought therapy was for people who were “broken.” I thought I could just will myself to be better, to be stronger. It took me years to realize that therapy is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It’s like having a personal trainer for your mind. My therapist has been instrumental in helping me navigate the emotional rollercoaster of being a founder. She’s given me the tools to manage my anxiety, to cope with the pressure, and to build resilience. And yet, there’s still a stigma around therapy in the founder community. We’re afraid that if we admit we’re struggling, our investors will think we’re not up to the task, that our team will lose faith in us. So we suffer in silence. This has to change.
Redefining Founder Success
We need to redefine what it means to be a successful founder. It’s not just about the exits, the valuations, the term sheets. It’s about building a sustainable company, and a sustainable life. It’s about prioritizing your mental health just as much as you prioritize your product roadmap. Here are a few things that have helped me on my journey:
- Find your tribe. You need a support system of people who understand what you’re going through. For me, that’s a small group of fellow founders who I can be completely honest with. We have a regular dinner where we share our struggles, our fears, and our wins. It’s a safe space where we can be vulnerable without judgment.
- Schedule time for yourself. I know, I know. You’re too busy. But if you don’t make time for yourself, you will burn out. I block out time in my calendar for exercise, for reading, for spending time with my family. It’s non-negotiable. It’s just as important as any investor meeting.
- Practice mindfulness. I’m not saying you need to become a monk and meditate for hours a day. But even a few minutes of mindfulness can make a huge difference. I use the Calm app for 10 minutes every morning. It helps me to start the day with a clear head and a sense of perspective.
- Get professional help. If you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. There are so many great therapists and coaches who specialize in working with founders. It’s one of the best investments you can make in yourself and your company.
The Future is Mental Fitness
The conversation around founder mental health is starting to change, but we still have a long way to go. We need to move from a culture of “hustle at all costs” to a culture of “sustainable success.” We need to create a world where it’s okay for founders to not be okay. A world where seeking help is seen as a sign of strength, not weakness. The future of entrepreneurship is not just about building innovative products and services. It’s about building a new generation of founders who are not only successful, but also healthy, happy, and whole. And that’s a future I’m excited to invest in.
Frequently Asked Questions
What's the most common pushback you get on this?
People often push back by citing exceptions or edge cases. And they're usually right that exceptions exist. But building a strategy around exceptions rather than patterns is a losing game for most founders.
Do all experts agree with this view?
No, and that's fine. The best ideas in business are often contrarian. I share my perspective based on my experience and data, but I encourage you to seek out opposing viewpoints and form your own conclusions.
How has this view evolved over time?
My thinking on most topics has changed significantly over the years. Early in my career, I held many conventional views that experience proved wrong. I try to update my beliefs when the evidence changes.