I’ve been through the Silicon Valley wringer four times as a founder. I’ve had two successful exits, RemoteTeam to Gusto and MovieLaLa to Gfycat. I’ve also invested in over 200 companies, including some you might have heard of like Anthropic and OpenAI. People see the success, the exits, the portfolio. What they don’t see is the cost.
They don’t see the sleepless nights, the constant anxiety, the strain on relationships. They don’t see the moments where you question everything, where you feel like you’re about to break. This is the unseen struggle of being a founder, and it’s something we need to talk about more.
The Myth of the Invincible Founder
There’s this myth in our culture of the invincible founder. The one who works 20-hour days, sleeps under their desk, and lives on ramen noodles. The one who is always crushing it, always closing deals, always on the up and up. It’s a dangerous myth. It’s a myth that almost broke me.
I remember when we were building MovieLaLa. We were trying to create a social network for movie lovers, and we were up against some of the biggest names in the business. The pressure was immense. I was working around the clock, and I was burning out. I was irritable, I was anxious, and I wasn’t taking care of myself. My co-founder pulled me aside one day and said, “Sahin, you need to take a break. You’re going to kill yourself.”
He was right. I was so focused on the company that I had forgotten to take care of myself. I was so focused on being the invincible founder that I had forgotten that I was human.
The Toll of the Grind
The constant grind of building a startup takes a toll on your mental health. It’s not just the long hours and the stress. It’s the constant uncertainty, the constant rejection, the constant feeling that you’re not good enough. It’s a recipe for disaster.
I’ve seen it happen to so many founders. They start out with so much passion and energy, but over time, the grind wears them down. They become cynical, they become jaded, they lose the very thing that made them want to be a founder in the first place.
My Personal Battle
I’ve had my own battles with mental health. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression. I’ve had moments where I wanted to give up. But I’ve also learned how to cope. I’ve learned how to build resilience. I’ve learned how to take care of myself.
One of the most important things I’ve learned is the power of connection. When you’re a founder, it’s easy to feel like you’re alone. It’s easy to feel like no one understands what you’re going through. But you’re not alone. There are other founders out there who are going through the same thing. There are people who can help.
Building a Support System
One of the best things you can do for your mental health is to build a strong support system. This could be your co-founders, your investors, your friends, your family. It could be a therapist or a coach. The important thing is to have people you can talk to, people who will listen without judgment, people who will be there for you when you need them most.
I’ve been lucky to have a great support system throughout my career. My co-founders have always been there for me, and I’ve had some amazing mentors and investors who have helped me navigate the ups and downs of being a founder. I also have a great group of friends who I can always count on for a laugh or a shoulder to cry on.
Practical Tips for Founder Mental Health
Here are a few practical tips that have helped me stay sane as a founder:
- Get enough sleep. This is non-negotiable. You can’t be at your best when you’re sleep-deprived.
- Eat healthy. Your brain needs fuel to function at its best. Make sure you’re eating a healthy diet.
- Exercise regularly. Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and boost your mood.
- Take breaks. You can’t work all the time. Make sure you’re taking time for yourself, to do things you enjoy.
- Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness can be a great way to manage stress and anxiety.
- Seek professional help. If you’re struggling with your mental health, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist or coach can be a great resource.
The Road Ahead
Being a founder is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s a long and difficult journey, but it’s also one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do. The key is to take care of yourself along the way. Don’t buy into the myth of the invincible founder. Be human. Be vulnerable. Be real.
And remember, you’re not alone. We’re all in this together.
Frequently Asked Questions
How has this view evolved over time?
My thinking on most topics has changed significantly over the years. Early in my career, I held many conventional views that experience proved wrong. I try to update my beliefs when the evidence changes.
What's the most common pushback you get on this?
People often push back by citing exceptions or edge cases. And they're usually right that exceptions exist. But building a strategy around exceptions rather than patterns is a losing game for most founders.
How can I apply this thinking to my own situation?
Start by identifying the core principle behind the opinion, not the specific example. Then ask yourself: does this principle apply to my context? If yes, test it in a small, low-risk way before going all in.